"Cò an caora sin còmhla riut a chunnaic mi an-raoir?"

Hello people of blog land. How are we all? Long time no blog, eh? I suppose you want reasons? Have I been in jail? Have I been busy releasing terrorists into the wild? Have I become one of those annoying people that ask too many questions?

Well, you will just have to wait until my next blog to find out what I’ve been up to. Not because I’m being an international man of mystery. No, it’s because I have pictures to share. Shiny pictures of exotic holidays, and I’m writing this in work. Yes, in work. I love a bit of social notworking.

So, I’ve managed to try and sporadically take a shufty at all your blogs. But, I’ve sometimes not had time to comment. For that, I will flog myself.

Now there’s a pastime that never really took off. They should have made it more appealing. You know what I mean? For every shot at another mans wife, take four smacks to the feet, and two whips to the back. Then, all is forgiven. Sweet, sweet, sin.

I remember when I started this blog. I had it in my head that I’d update frequently, and share my wee life with the world. But, the life that I was going to discuss, kind of got in the way of me discussing it. Does that even make sense? Well, it did in my head. I guess the road to somewhere is paved with good intentions. If you ever find out where that road leads, let me know.

When I’ve not been getting up to mysterious mischief, I’ve mostly been on the road. Selling, buying, and hotels have been my life for the last month or so. And it sucks, big time. So much so, I’ve actually made a real effort to apply for other jobs. Here are some of the jobs I’ve wanted to do, but they wouldn’t have me.

No1. Games tester – Very low paid, but extremely rewarding. I applied to Rock star in Edinburgh. They never answered me back. Top tip if you’re applying to them. Don’t mention you thought Grand theft auto helped you with your killing skills.

No2. Community warden – I got it into my head that I could get paid for being a vigilante. You’re not welcome in the job if you want to carry out systematic beatings of young hooligans, or so they claim.

No3. Wedding singer – Apparently cradle of filth does not make for a happy wedding day. Go figure.

No4. Porn star – Lost out on this cushy number because I turned up for the interview too early….If you know what I mean.

No5. Prime minister of the United Kingdom – I was knocked back for the job because I’m catholic. The Act of Settlement won’t allow it apparently. And there was me thinking I lived in a religious tolerant society. Ha!

So, after all my efforts, I’m still stuck in the same cruddy job. I have to take it on the chin when my boss pays everybody a bonus, apart from me. I have to use my own car/petrol when I’m going to a meeting. And, I’m paid less than everybody else.

To combat this serious injustice, I’ve joined a union, and I’m selling my car, and buying a Vespa. I shall not be allowed on the motorway with a moped, so that kind of sticks it to the man, eh? No more being sent to England for me. Although, looking like a prized tool is a side effect of my rebellion. But, I can take it. I’ve looked the fool on many occasions, so why should work be any different.

Well, that’s all for now folks. It’s great to be back, and hopefully I’ll be a regular blogger again if I can dodge work successfully.

So, I’ll leave you with the same question that I asked in the title:

“Who was that sheep I saw you with last night?”